Friday, January 30, 2009
Thursday, January 29, 2009
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
blackout.
i got to work late yesterday (naturally), to find the entire building had a power outage. in fewer words than none - it was bizarre.
i think i love blackouts. yesterday we giggled, girl talked, movie reviewed, played flashlight tag, found out my boss was born in 1940, and then got sent home at 11:30.
i spent the remainder of the day at the aquarium looking at fishies, sharks, three monkeys, a sea otter, and an anaconda. i topped off my dream day at $6 movie night with free popcorn and benjamin button. pure bliss.
i miss snow days.
i think i love blackouts. yesterday we giggled, girl talked, movie reviewed, played flashlight tag, found out my boss was born in 1940, and then got sent home at 11:30.
i spent the remainder of the day at the aquarium looking at fishies, sharks, three monkeys, a sea otter, and an anaconda. i topped off my dream day at $6 movie night with free popcorn and benjamin button. pure bliss.
i miss snow days.
Thursday, January 22, 2009
vegas.
i just recovered from my 4 day bender in las vegas and i have nothing to show for it except for a depleted bank account, 185 pictures, a video of alan eating a ketchup packet in it's entirety, and a lost dignity. sure i made out with an 85 year old man with an oxygen tank, and accidentally charged $250 to his hotel room via an electronic poker machine, but at the end of the day - it was a successful trip.
next stop? kimbowl.
next stop? kimbowl.
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
Thursday, January 8, 2009
an ode to an era...
in honor of this very important day i thought i'd write a haiku...
blonde days are long gone
please do not get arrested
fire crotch, freckles, and fun
au revoir you blond little man.
blonde days are long gone
please do not get arrested
fire crotch, freckles, and fun
au revoir you blond little man.
pyrotechnics?
my secret santa gave me a space heater for christmas, im starting to feel guilty for bitching about the gift now that i’m toasty warm all the time. i always forget my cubical reaches subterranean temperatures, i attribute this to my scarf fetish. that and the fact that i enjoy things to be tightly bound around my neck. not like asphyxiation or anything, i just find it comforting…too far?
anyhoo, i came in on monday to a yellow post-it note on my computer screen reading- “FIRE HAZARD (arrow to space heater). PLEASE TURN OFF.” i was pleasantly surprised when i came in today and found yet another post-it note, “THIS IS NOT A JOKE. TURN OFF.”
what can i say, i'm forgetful. but in all seriousness, think the third time’s a charm?
anyhoo, i came in on monday to a yellow post-it note on my computer screen reading- “FIRE HAZARD (arrow to space heater). PLEASE TURN OFF.” i was pleasantly surprised when i came in today and found yet another post-it note, “THIS IS NOT A JOKE. TURN OFF.”
what can i say, i'm forgetful. but in all seriousness, think the third time’s a charm?
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
birfday.
i’ve spent the afternoon being showered in gifts- let’s play a game called “guess my age!”
1. a lunch box with an embroidered M.
2. a pink hannah montana hair glitter stick
3. two miniature york peppermint patties
4. a miniature rainbow lotion kit
5. a classic game pen kit featuring operation, barrel of moneys, tinkertoy, and etchAsketch. all pens. yes, pens.
6. a silver and red plastic tiara (which i’m currently wearing).
7. a cubical filled with mint green, pink, and yellow streamers.
8. one large “HAPPY BIRTHDAY” balloon
9. one large “You’re SO SPECIAL!” balloon
10. ten (non helium) “happy birthday” balloons- again in pink, mint green, blue and purple.
11. a large cooking pot.
12. a GIGANTIC hersheys bar.
13. and this…
now guess my age…
1. a lunch box with an embroidered M.
2. a pink hannah montana hair glitter stick
3. two miniature york peppermint patties
4. a miniature rainbow lotion kit
5. a classic game pen kit featuring operation, barrel of moneys, tinkertoy, and etchAsketch. all pens. yes, pens.
6. a silver and red plastic tiara (which i’m currently wearing).
7. a cubical filled with mint green, pink, and yellow streamers.
8. one large “HAPPY BIRTHDAY” balloon
9. one large “You’re SO SPECIAL!” balloon
10. ten (non helium) “happy birthday” balloons- again in pink, mint green, blue and purple.
11. a large cooking pot.
12. a GIGANTIC hersheys bar.
13. and this…
now guess my age…
Monday, January 5, 2009
updates.
the last week of my life? debauchery at it’s finest.
monday, december 29th- danced the night away at evil olive. left around 2:30am. ran into jacob talking to a homeless woman named bobby, saw them open mouth kissing and left him alone on the corner. went to bed at 5am after a night filled with girl talk and sexts.
tuesday, december 30th- bought a new toothbrush, was afraid mine touched jacobs after his open mouth escapades. bought large box of penis shaped straws. went to a bachelorette party. remembered i hate bachelorette parties. started taking tequila shots, came to- realized i was slow dancing with a little person named vince who was from canada and only spoke french. video documentation coming soon…
wednesday, december 31st. – threw raging new years eve speakeasy themed party. hung out with p. ness, tortured volpe while she was passed out in bed, found my living room filled with 15 random bulgarians.
thursday, january 1st- spent the day entertaining the infamous timmy reed. slept. lots.
friday, january 2nd- came to work because i thought i would be the only one in the office. found erin (who’s 9 months pregnant) and frances hanging out around the table. erin went into labor around 3:00pm, water breakage and all. drove her to the hospital. missed the wedding. made up for lost time at the reception though a bottomless glass of wine. ended the night at 5 star followed by my kitchen. new friends= 5 star every weekend. trouble.
saturday, january 3rd- went to prost after sitting on the couch for about 7 hours straight. jeff danced in a banana suit on top of the bar. scored shots from the owner. went to big city for some flirts and free beer.
need. sleep.
monday, december 29th- danced the night away at evil olive. left around 2:30am. ran into jacob talking to a homeless woman named bobby, saw them open mouth kissing and left him alone on the corner. went to bed at 5am after a night filled with girl talk and sexts.
tuesday, december 30th- bought a new toothbrush, was afraid mine touched jacobs after his open mouth escapades. bought large box of penis shaped straws. went to a bachelorette party. remembered i hate bachelorette parties. started taking tequila shots, came to- realized i was slow dancing with a little person named vince who was from canada and only spoke french. video documentation coming soon…
wednesday, december 31st. – threw raging new years eve speakeasy themed party. hung out with p. ness, tortured volpe while she was passed out in bed, found my living room filled with 15 random bulgarians.
thursday, january 1st- spent the day entertaining the infamous timmy reed. slept. lots.
friday, january 2nd- came to work because i thought i would be the only one in the office. found erin (who’s 9 months pregnant) and frances hanging out around the table. erin went into labor around 3:00pm, water breakage and all. drove her to the hospital. missed the wedding. made up for lost time at the reception though a bottomless glass of wine. ended the night at 5 star followed by my kitchen. new friends= 5 star every weekend. trouble.
saturday, january 3rd- went to prost after sitting on the couch for about 7 hours straight. jeff danced in a banana suit on top of the bar. scored shots from the owner. went to big city for some flirts and free beer.
need. sleep.
jokes.
i just shook hands with stedman graham while carrying a special little disease i like to call conjunctivitis. the projected result? i just gave oprah pink eye.
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