updates.

the last week of my life? debauchery at it’s finest.

monday, december 29th- danced the night away at evil olive. left around 2:30am. ran into jacob talking to a homeless woman named bobby, saw them open mouth kissing and left him alone on the corner. went to bed at 5am after a night filled with girl talk and sexts.

tuesday, december 30th- bought a new toothbrush, was afraid mine touched jacobs after his open mouth escapades. bought large box of penis shaped straws. went to a bachelorette party. remembered i hate bachelorette parties. started taking tequila shots, came to- realized i was slow dancing with a little person named vince who was from canada and only spoke french. video documentation coming soon…

wednesday, december 31st. – threw raging new years eve speakeasy themed party. hung out with p. ness, tortured volpe while she was passed out in bed, found my living room filled with 15 random bulgarians.

thursday, january 1st- spent the day entertaining the infamous timmy reed. slept. lots.

friday, january 2nd- came to work because i thought i would be the only one in the office. found erin (who’s 9 months pregnant) and frances hanging out around the table. erin went into labor around 3:00pm, water breakage and all. drove her to the hospital. missed the wedding. made up for lost time at the reception though a bottomless glass of wine. ended the night at 5 star followed by my kitchen. new friends= 5 star every weekend. trouble.

saturday, january 3rd- went to prost after sitting on the couch for about 7 hours straight. jeff danced in a banana suit on top of the bar. scored shots from the owner. went to big city for some flirts and free beer.

need. sleep.